I am not in much of a mood to write the Sunday Hug today. Which probably means that it’s even more important that I write it. I keep distracting myself, browsing old manor houses for sale in England, checking my Facebook, email, listening to Jesse tell me about 14th century feudal France. My distraction is nothing, if not educational.
I’m a little bit grumpy. And when I feel like this, the last thing in the world that I want is a hug. Or self kindness. I just want to sit and brood. “Bugger off and let me be moody” is usually my mantra of choice.
And I just wrote some flowery prose about how I don’t know why I’m cranky. It was a lie. And dear reader, if I can’t be honest with you, then who can I be honest with?
I’m dreading the week ahead. I’ve got some big projects to get going and to get done. I have to finish paintings and apply for a very large grant so that I can hopefully make it to Europe next year. I need the money to pay in time.
I’m only moody to disguise the fact that I’m scared.
I’ve got some big news that I’m announcing tomorrow. I’ve got this prestigious grant to apply for. I’m trying to raise the overwhelming sum of $18,000 so that I can travel to Europe next year and really focus on my art. I’ve applied to this intensive studio program in France.
It seems that I’m feeling like a very little fish right now.
So if you’ve been reaching for dreams that seem way above you, and you’re not entirely sure if you can get there – this hug is for you.
And for me. And for the people who haven’t even figured out what their dreams are, they just know it feels scary to think about them.
Sometimes stepping up and expanding is scary. Exciting, exhilarating, exquisite, and absolutely terrifying.
I get it.
We can get there. We are going to reach our dreams. We just need to endure some discomfort in the meantime. Take as many hugs as you need.
Have hugs? Need hugs? Let’s just get the hugs going all around.
If you’d like to contribute in some way to my trip to France, all of the art being sold here is going towards that. If you live in North America and purchase by Dec. 15th, your art will arrive in time for Christmas.