This is it. Today’s the day. My tuition is due by the end of the day, and as the fancy pink graphic below shows, I’m just $363 from my goal. BAM! That feels good. As I wrote the other day, I’ve been working hard to make sure that my journey is one of love, not fear – that my actions are always rooted in love of myself and … [Read more...] about The last stand: $363, love, fear and baby steps
I am 3 days and $900 away from paying my tuition + rent to return to France. Of the total almost $7000 I thought I’d have to pay, having $900 left feels like something akin to a miracle. Between scholarships, sponsorships and generous donations, I am thisclose to officially being able to start my journey. The most beautiful and magical part … [Read more...] about A journey of love, not fear.
(To read part 2, a look ahead to 2012, click here.) Well, 2011, you've been one helluva year, haven't you? *shakes head* I still can’t believe this year even happened. So much of my life changed. I feel like one cycle of my life has ended and a new one has begun. A decade ago, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. … [Read more...] about Closing & Opening, Part 1 – A look back at 2011
"...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the … [Read more...] about “Live the questions.”
I seem to be playing the comparison game with myself lately. You know - the one where you look at everyone else's success and tell yourself that you'll never measure up? I haven't played it in a while, but I'm not at my best lately, so I've got fewer defenses for when the gremlins start up. The other day I wrote about envy, and this new game … [Read more...] about The small successes are sometimes the most important
(Sorry that this hug is a little late - I've been teaching a fabulous class all day.) If you're anything like me, when something good happens to you, you freak out, look that gift horse in the mouth and then examine his legs and check his mane for ticks. You might also check if he's colicky or not. Then, when you're sort of done freaking out, … [Read more...] about The Sunday Hug: The Importance of Celebration
As we move towards a new year with new goals, I've been thinking a lot about how I spend my days. I've spent the last week tracking how I spend my time. It's actually rather shocking how little I can get done in a day. Or not. For some reason, I think I have superhuman capabilities. I also tend to forget that I have a chronic illness that … [Read more...] about On time management & being human
I had a realization this morning. A really obvious one actually, but I can be dense sometimes.When I do something for me and my own reasons, I succeed. When I do something to prove myself, or get approval, or from a sense of guilt, I never get anywhere.Really simple, but it explains a lot of my life. I've been baffled for months with the ease with … [Read more...] about Doing it for me
So I feel like I need to return to this subject and make a few clarifying points. Because I'm afraid I've been misunderstood. Lisa Call left this comment on my blog yesterday: I think this post is interesting in that it demonstrates that there are definitely some very negative ways to interpret the words success and failure – and you certainly … [Read more...] about Success & Failure – Take 2
Two very loaded words, I know. And they're tossed around so much that we don't even pay them that much attention anymore. We just assume that they're Important. The thing is though - what do they mean? What is success? What is failure? They're tricky questions to answer. Is success making hundreds of thousands of dollars or millions? Or billions? … [Read more...] about Success & failure
I was writing in my journal this morning about success, a topic that I continually struggle with. I've been trying to reframe it, into something I can grasp. I think part of my problem is that I see success as so far away, so distant that I can't figure out what I want because I just assume that I can't get it. And then I wrote this: I want … [Read more...] about On my own terms.
So there. There is a part of me that, having been raised in a world where dreams don't matter and don't count, thinks I need to give up this silly artist game already and just go home. Let it go. Give it up. It thinks I've failed. In it's eyes, I tried a whole bunch of stuff and not too much of it worked out, in the monetary sense. Since that's … [Read more...] about I'm not giving up.