I am, occasionally, accused of working too much (usually by well-meaning friends). It’s probably true. I work a lot. Longer than 8 hour days, by far. Probably closer to 10-12. But it doesn’t usually feel like work to me. This is what I’d be doing for fun if I had a cubicle job. [...]
I woke up this morning, early. It happens sometimes when my sleep is drug induced – I was in so much pain yesterday I had to take sleeping pills last night to get any kind of relief. I pottered around for a few hours, did some web design work and then wandered into the living [...]
Well, my stomach finally seems to be healing. Between the trifecta of omeprazole, the probiotics and the digestive enzymes, as well as a carefully monitored diet, it should have all the help it needs to start setting itself to rights again. My body, on the other hand, has been left in a much worse state. [...]
Monday was a long weekend here in Canada, and it was a beautiful one – warm, sunny, and smelling of spring. A friend called me up and armed with camera and sketchbook, we walked down to Victoria Park, a public park that runs along the edge of the harbour. It’s pretty big, so you can [...]
Today is International ME/CFS Awareness Day. It’s a timely reminder of why I’m an artist, and why I do what I do. I don’t really know why other people choose art. I didn’t choose it because I wanted to say something, or had some vision to express (although those things are still true for me). [...]
My job at the health food store is starting to wear me out. I find I’m spending just as many days recovering from working as I am working. Which means I’m losing 4-6 days a week. I’m starting to resent my job. This happened last time I worked too – 6 to 8 weeks in, [...]
The last month has felt like being in the boxing ring. I feel emotionally wrung out, and physically exhausted. Goodbyes Last night, I got the phone call from my friend that her sister had died. I’m not there to hug her and comfort her and it sucks royally. Dear, sweet, stubborn, strong Kait, you will [...]
I’m about to do something scary. Very, very scary. I’m about to start putting myself first. I know, I know. What is this crazy self-care thing? Perhaps I’m being selfish. Maybe I’ve just lost my mind. But maybe I’m regaining my soul. Old, old pattern I’ve been living this pattern for 8 long years. It [...]
Yesterday, I spoke about how I’m terrified of success, and how much that’s blocking me. Well, after some great advice from some friends, I decided to sit with the fear, and see what it was saying. The answer almost immediately surfaced – my body was scared. Now, obviously this is going to sound a bit [...]
So today, I’m calling disability support, to make an appointment. This really feels like giving up to me. I vowed that I would become independent and support myself goddammit, and this seriously feels like I’m waving a white flag. I know it’s not like that. I know some people are so glad to get disability, [...]
