This is something that I have never, ever done before. I am so wearing my big girl panties today.

I have absolutely no idea where to start. I’ve got a whole bunch of feelings about the year ahead, but not a whole lot of concrete things.

So far, I know this much – I have to complete 6 landscapes by April for my new gallery in Charlottetown, the Pilar Shephard Gallery. I’ve also got an interior designer who wants to work with me, and she’d like some landscapes as well. So lots of landscapes.

I know that I’d like to rework the nudes from the Nude Show ’09, and finish the last 2 pieces that were never shown or completed. With the whole series complete, I’d like to show them again, though I have absolutely no idea where or how or anything, because sweet jesus, they are huge.

I am highly considering applying for the Elizabeth Greenshields Foundation Award, which is a $12,500 grant to emerging artists working in realism. I’m not really sure how good my odds are, but the worst that’ll happen is they’ll say no. Not exactly the end of the world.

I know that I want to learn much, much more about art. Which is kind of redundant, because I’m 21, so of course I want to learn more about art. I’ve recently discovered the work of Richard Schmid, Jeremy Lipking and Katie Swatland and I’m pretty much in love. (A nod to Lori Woodward Simons for pointing me in their direction!)

They’re all influenced by John Singer Sargent, who was one of the first artists I ever fell in love with. My dad had a book of his works, and I would spend hours just staring at the images, trying to dissect them and figure out how he did it. I was enthralled. I wanted to paint like that.

El Jaleo, by John Singer Sargent http://jssgallery.org/Paintings/El_Jaleo.htm

This painting actually makes me want to cry. I get this crazy, heavy feeling in my chest, and everything feels full and heady and every cell in my body yearns to create art, to create something beautiful, powerful, evocative, provocative, alive. It’s why I do what I do. It’s why, even when I can’t seem to paint, I keep gnawing at the “why”. I won’t let go. I won’t give up. I’m like a dog with a bone.

There’s just this thing that wants to get out of me, that wants to run wild and free, and paint glorious pictures. I guess you could call it passion, but it feels so much bigger than that, so much bigger than me.

I want to give that part of me the space to run free this year. I want to let it roam and see where it goes, where it takes me. I don’t know if it’s possible to set specific goals for that. Unless I just set “roam free” time each week, and see where it takes me.

I’m going to take the afternoon to think about my plans for the year and the directions I want to head in. I’ll let you know tomorrow what conclusions I come to.

Welcome to one artist's odyssey

On May 21st, I'm going on a quest. A quest for art, for meaning, for beauty, for truth. I'm picking up my life, packing up a suitcase and heading to rural France to live, paint and study art for the next 18 months.

Click here to find out how you can stowaway in my suitcase and join in the adventure!