Well, my stomach finally seems to be healing. Between the trifecta of omeprazole, the probiotics and the digestive enzymes, as well as a carefully monitored diet, it should have all the help it needs to start setting itself to rights again.

My body, on the other hand, has been left in a much worse state. I am exhausted. Like sleep for 9 hours and then wake up and still feel tired exhausted. My legs are completely uninterested in supporting my weight for an extended period of time. My brain is still fuzzy and it’s a pretty well known fact that creativity is the first function to suffer when you’re tired.

So although I’m my stomach is better, the ME/CFS ain’t so impressed. The hardest part is, I don’t know when it’s going to get better.

For now, I’m just going to focus on resting as much as possible, doing a little bit of moderate exercise and letting my body do it’s thing. It could take a few days, it could take a few weeks. For all I know, it could take a few months.

I’m still going to try and create as much as possible, but that still won’t be a lot. Of course, abstract doodles with crayons are always an option! And I can catch up on my ever expanding reading list. And have lots of deep conversations with myself.

The only thing that’s frustrating me is the whole school in France thing. My goal was to spend the summer studying and creating 6 pieces to be submitted as my application. All of the pieces need to be done from life, and as of yet, I don’t have too many of those.

If I’m sick for even a month, it’s putting a tight deadline on myself.

However! All is not lost. There are some things that I can do. For example, I can still read and study Old Master works from my bed. Instead of 5 drawings from life per week, maybe I’ll do one or two. And whenever I feel up to painting, I’ll be doing it from life as much as possible. I’ll just have to take it at a slower pace, but it doesn’t mean I have to stop completely.

The hardest part however, is keeping myself motivated. When you’re tired and in pain, sometimes the last thing you want to do is study or create. It’s easier to play a thousand games of solitaire, zone out mindlessly in front of movies and TV and fall down the endless rabbit hole that is the internet.

But I know from past experience that art is what will help me to heal and to deal. Getting lost in a project, if only for half an hour a day, helps to give me a focus outside of my pain. It gives me something else to think about, aside from “Ow.”

So I’ll keep trying. Maybe I’ll post some of my old master painting analyses on here? Would you be interested in that? I can’t tell if that’s something that’s interesting to others or not. Maybe I’ll do a test one – if you like it, let me know and if you don’t, just ignore it haha. But if you guys like it, maybe I’ll do it once a week and share what I learned from each painting. It’s kind of fun – you really start to appreciate the genius of these artists when you really start to pay attention to how they constructed a painting.

For now, I’m going to go lie down. Maybe later I’ll feel capable of doing another productive thing.