There is one sure fire way to resolve this inner issue – continue on the path of self-love. Every time the issue comes to the fore – mentally hug it and love yourself. in time your inner self will realise and apreciate the love its getting.

Love, love and love…as the song so rightly says…all you need is ‘your own’ love…

Love, Kal

SERIOUS kudos for even being able to acknowledge all this.

Just rememember your interest is you. You. Now. You now. Now you.

Peace.

@Havi – thank you for the permission to rest. Sometimes I forget about that bit It’s hard to remember that I’m just allowed to sit with the insights, and not have to fix them straight away.

@Christy – Tea! You’re right! Tea is definitely in order. And some chocolate. I actually struggle a lot with still feeling like that 12 year old still, and you saying that I’m not her really hit a chord with me. I think my stomach actually flipped over. Huge. Thank youuuu.

@Melle – Ha! So true. I really felt like that – let’s just get this high school crap over with and then I can get on with my life. I will remember that next time the past shows up

@James – I like what you said about “holding space”. I like that because its not about force at all, and it means that I don’t have to have a fix-it-all-now answer. I can just sit with it, let her know she’s loved and give her space.
I will remember that you’re holding some space for me from across the pond

I’m racking my brains trying to remember the details of who and where as I’ve read this story so many times now, and I have my own version playing out in my head as well.

I would go with listening, paying attention, and offering reassurance & love. Once she feels you holding space for her, she will do the rest herself. I’m not ready to start that journey, but I’ve learnt enough this last year to know that force won’t work.

Super proud of you for being so brave, and know that I’m holding a space for you here in cyberland.

For far, far too many people, high school is something to get through where life is waiting on the other side.

I congratulate you on this. It IS huge. Biggification writ large!

One bit I would add to Havi’s wisdom, and it comes from personal experience, is to say that you are no longer that 12-year-old girl.

Yes, she is part of you. So is her pain. But she is not YOU. You have healed/are healing. You have grown. You are no longer 12-years-old.

You can love the 12-year-old you, because she needs her pain to feel whole, and you can love her for that. It’s not loving her “in spite of” the pain, it’s loving her because of the pain. Without that pain, that ferocious tenacious pain, you might not have survived to become who you are today. Thank her for that stubbornness. Show her what that stubbornness has become!

And love her. And love you.

And take that nap. You’ve earned it.

Talking with pain and fear is tiring and also a really big deal so … permission to rest!

Also, I think you already *have done* what needs to be done. You listened and you paid attention.

That’s already shifting everything.

And every time you manage to express some of this to that old pain, that’s huge. Huge.

For example: “Honey, I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you. I get that you need this pain for your own reasons. You’re allowed to have it for now. I just want to remind you that right now, I’m ready to grow and learn. My pain is not going to be around forever, but right now this is where I’m at with it.”

Each time you talk to it, you’re learning more about it and achieving just a little more distance from it and a little more closeness to yourself. And that perspective makes it even easier to figure out where to go next.

But for now — big big big hug from me. I think you’re super brave for being in this process with yourself. It’s a lot of deep work.

I vote that you get a nap and whatever else you need today.