It’s Friday. I’m not really sure how. Maybe I fell through a rip in the time-space continuum? (Gosh darn it, again?)  I honestly don’t know where this week went.

But some good stuff this week. Some really good stuff.

My art is on a wall!

Last week I told you guys that I was invited to show my work at a gallery/cafe/wine bar and so on Saturday, I went down and hung the pieces.

They look fantastic. The wall colour was painted this deliciously deep, army green and against it, my works just popped. I was so pleased – I honestly couldn’t have picked a better colour.

Unfortunately, because I’m a flaky scatterbrain, I forgot to bring a camera and so there are no pictures for you all. (Sad face.) So instead, I’ll just take a picture from my last opening reception in August, and you can all just pretend that it’s the other place.

Okay? Great.

I think I blew my own mind

Last night, I was reading Pema Chodron’s book “Comfortable with Uncertainty”. It’s 108 snippets of wisdom and meditations to help you go with the flow and, well, be comfortable with uncertainty. (Duh.)

And while reading, I had the most radical, revolutionary thought – what if it didn’t matter that I was afraid?

I’ve been going along, thinking that if I could just get over the fear, just heal the fear, just whatever, then I could go on and be successful. But what if I didn’t have to? What if it just didn’t matter that I’m mindlessly terrified?

Part of my brain thinks that if I could just feel safe all the time, I could go pursue my dream. That part of me thinks that being safe is the point. But what if it wasn’t? What if I didn’t need to?

What if I just accepted that part of me was always going to be scared, but that I could go do the thing anyways? And I could go into it, completely surrendering the outcome and accepting that yeah, I  might fail miserably. But that really, it didn’t matter, because at least I tried.

And suddenly, it’s like so many things fell into place. I had a quick chat with my fear, and informed her that she was always welcome. I built her a room, with purple walls, a fairy princess bed and filled it with all of her favourite books and toys (she is a little girl after all) and told her that she could eat as much ice cream and chocolate as she wanted.

I told her that she was loved and that I was never going to make her go anywhere, ever again. She could stay forever, because I finally understand that it doesn’t matter if I’m scared – I can still do the thing. It’ll still be scary, I’ll still maybe freak out, but I don’t have to get rid of my fear. It can stay.

All of a sudden – peace. It feels wonderful.

Holy potatoes, Batman, I sold stuff!

Seriously. I sold stuff! I’m not even kidding you. I sold three things this week.

That’s the most that I’ve ever sold from my website, ever. That’s the most I’ve ever sold in a week, ever!

I am completely in shock. This is HUGE. One was a completely random person who I totally don’t know!

What the heck?! Part of my brain is like…freaking out. Completely. It actually cannot wrap itself around the fact that over the course of 4 days, I sold 3 things.

Anyone wanna happy dance with me? Please come happy dance with me. The more the merrier!

Oddly enough, this was my most unproductive week

Seriously, I accomplished nothing this week. I mean, really, nothing.

I have sat in front of this computer every morning this week, blogged, and then…nothing. I have just been too damn tired.

So it’s rather ironic to me that the week where I have accomplished the least in my life, is the week that I sold things. You know what I think it is though?

This week, I surrendered. I was too tired to care. I was too tired to worry if I was making any money or not. I opened up, let go, and let the Universe have its way.

Turns out, the Universe wanted me to sell things. And maybe I’d been spending so much time stressing about the money to let any money actually come to me. I got out of my own way, mostly because I was too exhausted to be in my own way.

So if I could just find a balance between doing the work that I need to do and not stressing about the money all the time, I think that I might be on to something.

At the very least, I’d be a lot less stressed out. It’s something to ponder. It’s like I’ve had a week of incubating my mind, and now all of these insights are just streaming out of me. Crazy.

And now I’m having a pamper day

I get to spend the whole day with one of my closest friends. I am so happy about this, I could cry. Seriously. She only lives in the city half the week, and both of our lives are so crazy that we only get to grab snippets of time together, but today, I get her for the whole darn day!

More happy dancing!

I hope that all of you have an amazing weekend, and that you don’t let Hallmark, I mean, Valentine’s, ruin it with all its expectations of either 1) having someone special or 2) if you have that someone special, suddenly the day has to be perfect and expensive.

That’s my rant for the day!
See you all on Monday!