Happy Hour Fridays: I need more time

So this is my first post since last Friday. Since then, I’ve been taking some time for myself.

It’s been hard. It took me a while before my mind slowed down.

To be perfectly honest though, I’m still not ready to come back. I’m sitting here, staring at this computer screen and I’m drained. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until Monday morning when I really truly stopped moving. My body just dropped. I really took a look at myself, really paid attention to my insides and was shocked to find that I felt really sick.

Still, it’s been a fun week – friends are home from school, and it’s been glorious and sunny for the most part. And ironically, the second I decided to stop moving, all sorts of good things happened.

The wonderful stuff that always happens when I stop worrying

Really, the irony of how well my business did without me hovering over it is so funny, it’s sad.

  • I got a contract with a small, local licensing company that promotes Canadian art.
  • I had an interview with a local paper for the Pelham Art Festival next weekend.
  • My blog is going to be quoted in a book.
  • Someone emailed me telling me that they have the perfect apartment for us in Charlottetown.
  • More people signed up for my mailing list than the whole time I promoted it because Havi totally pimped me out.

Does anyone remember the last time I took time off? Yeah, I sold 3 things in 2 days. And then the next time I took time off, I got a website contract, and sold 2 paintings in one day.

Do you think someone’s trying to tell me something?

I bought lots and lots of stuff!

Seriously though, I probably spent too much money this week. Jesse and I went nuts last weekend and got a whole bunch of stuff for our apartment. Because guess what? We’re leaving in 2 months. TWO MONTHS.

Jesus. That’s scary. ‘Scuse me for a second while I go have a heart attack.

Anyways, we decided it was time to start preparing. Oh boy did we prepare. We bought chairs. We bought side tables. We bought a dining room table. I bought the world’s coolest frying pan. (It’s the one on the right!) We bought an N64 and some MarioKart. And yes, that is very relevant.

Also, I cut my hair. Like, 9 inches of hair. It’s really short now – think shoulder length. I’ll have to get some pictures.

And I need more time

Yeah, this week just wasn’t enough. Too many other things happened. I spent too much time in resist mode. I never realized how tightly I was wound up until I asked myself to wind down.

I am still so tired.

So I’m taking most of next week off as well. I need it. The Pelham Art Festival is next weekend, so I’ll need to do some preparing for that, but aside from that, I’m not doing anything. I’m going to keep resting, and I’m going to keep listening to myself.

There have been a lot of internal changes this week, but I’m not ready to talk about them yet. They need time to sit and simmer – to percolate as it were. I still feel like an empty vessel – drained with nothing to give to anybody, not even me. I need more time vegetating on the couch, more time staring into space, more time meditating, more time walking, thinking, mulling, listening.

I just need more time.

So I may check in here over the next week, I may not. Obviously on Monday I will announce the winner of my Mother’s Day giveaway, and I’ll still come back on Friday to do the Happy Hour. But I just need more time.

So while I miss you all dearly, I’m going to keep looking inward, and keep giving myself some serious loving.

In the meantime, ya’ll had better sign up for my Mother’s Day giveaway if you  haven’t already! You’ve only got until Sunday night and then the contest closes!

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend. I miss you so much. With any luck, I’ll be back to my regular schedule soon.

Comments

  1. says

    Whooo hooo! That seriously is the world’s coolest frying pan and now I’m thinking that maybe I need one! I’m busy in my mind right now trying to find a way to justify it!

    In all my slowing down only one thing has become abundantly clear to me – the world is still there for me even when I slow down. Even if I nap, stay in bed for the whole day, disappear for a weekend, hide under a pillow – whatever – it’s still there. I don’t need to *push* so hard.

    It’s weird, it’s freaky, it’s also kinda cool. Lets me breathe out a bit.

    And fanbloodytastic re your business! Yessssss! Take the next two months off if this is what taking a week does! :D

    Wormy’s last blog post..Exploring Love Part 2 – The Greatest Impatience

  2. Jayjay Ferro (@jaysquared on twitter) says

    Take all the time you need to rest and recharge, Sarah!

    I just bet you spent at least half of last week freaking out, trying to kick yourself into relaxing and giving yourself a rest.No wonder you’re still exhausted :)

    Congrats on the good things that’s happening with your biz on your sabbatical and I wish you all the best on your move! It’s nerve-wracking, yes, but once it’s over and done with, you’ll be able to breathe easy again. (and hey, that frying pan IS cool!)

    We’ll miss you, sure, but at the same time happy that you;re taking the time to rest and work things out for yourself.

    Have a good week!

  3. says

    That good stuff is seriously good stuff. Hurray.

    And my dad was also a big believer in the 2-week vacation because a big chunk of the 1st week is spent in the actual winding down and you need some time to BE wound down.

    Hope the festival goes well. Hugs.

    JoVE’s last blog post..I’ve established a yoga practice