Category Archives: Dreams

The last stand: $363, love, fear and baby steps

  This is it. Today’s the day. My tuition is due by the end of the day, and as the fancy pink graphic below shows, I’m just $363 from my goal. BAM! That feels good. As I wrote the other day, I’ve been working hard to make sure that my journey is one of love, [...]

A journey of love, not fear.

I am 3 days and $900 away from paying my tuition + rent to return to France. Of the total almost $7000 I thought I’d have to pay, having $900 left feels like something akin to a miracle. Between scholarships, sponsorships and generous donations, I am thisclose to officially being able to start my journey. [...]

An anniversary, remembering and moving forward

Eleven years ago today, I got sick. The emotional effects didn’t hit me till weeks later, but today was the day it started – 11pm at night, suddenly awake and feeling ill. And then that feeling just never going away. It’s been a long road to the place where I am now. Last year felt [...]

And so the journey begins…

This painting changed my life. I was 16 when I saw it for the first time, in Sister Wendy’s 1000 Masterpieces. (Amaaazing book.) I saw it, and every part of my heart and soul yearned towards it and whispered, “I want to do that.” Last year, I spent 6 months learning how to do that. [...]

Closing & Opening, Part 2 – Themes, dreams & plans for 2012

(To read part 1, a look back at 2011, click here.) I welcomed the New Year quietly. I spent the evening curled up on the couch, sipping martinis, and watching my boyfriend play Skyrim* and mulling over the year behind and the year ahead. *It is awesome. Don’t even judge me. As the hours counted [...]

Closing & Opening, Part 1 – A look back at 2011

(To read part 2, a look ahead to 2012, click here.) Well, 2011, you’ve been one helluva year, haven’t you? *shakes head* I still can’t believe this year even happened. So much of my life changed. I feel like one cycle of my life has ended and a new one has begun. A decade ago, [...]

Come on, show me your light.

(I wrote this months ago and filed it away in a random folder on my computer, titled “Manifesto”. I just found it again and knew I had to share it.) I believe that there is a light inside of you, just waiting to shine. I believe that there is something inside you, dying to thrive. [...]

Big plans!

I have a plan! A big, exciting, terrifying, mind-boggling plan. It’s my 2 year plan, in fact. I’m going back to France. But this time, I’m selling all my furniture, giving up my apartment and bringing my boyfriend with me. For the next 2 years, we’ll be splitting our time between Canada and France, while [...]

Moving with the fear

I am terrified. I am terrified of this new adventure. I am terrified that I have nothing to offer anyone. I am terrified that my art and my words are meaningless. Worthless to anyone but me. These are old monsters. Strong. Ancient. Deep. These fears don’t want to let me put myself out there. These [...]

Sometimes, smaller is better.

I am exceptionally good at freaking myself out. One morning, I sat down and calculated the cost of my returning to France next year to continue studying. As I’d suspected, it’s around $20,000. Ay carumba. All those zeros still freak me out. And while it’s not that much considering the quality of education I’ll be [...]