You know what really gets on my nerves? (And it’s been annoying me more than ever lately.)

The idea that somehow, playing small is noble. That living a life of quiet misery is somehow the truer, better, more humble path.

I would like to call bullshit, thankyouverymuch.

This has been said a million times before…

But seriously, you playing small serves absolutely no one! And I’m not saying that you have to go out and conquer the world. That’s not what I mean by being a bigger person.

But this idea that crushing your own hopes, dreams, desires and passions to be this tiny, miserable person is somehow good? Or helping people? Or makes you a better person? HOW?!

Really?! How?! Can someone please answer that in a way that would satisfy me, because so far, I’ve never heard an explanation that didn’t have BS written all over it.

I was talking to a friend a couple weeks ago who was going to audition for a lead in a musical at her university. Our conversation went something like this:

“You know, I’m a really good singer! I’m the best singer that’s auditioning! I’m going to be really pissed if I don’t get a part, because that would make no sense. I really want that lead role. For pete’s sake, I actually want to be on stage for once, and have a part that really matters.

But that’s probably really selfish of me to want. I shouldn’t want to be a lead, should I? It’s probably really bad of me to be saying all this.”

Oh yeah. Because being an actress and actually wanting to be on stage is a ridiculous notion. No actor ever wanted that. They all became actors to be the maid or the chorus every single time, never be noticed, never get any juicy roles, and mostly just hang out in the background. That’s the motivation for every single actor that ever was.

Does that sound as ridiculous to you as it does to me?

Now I don’t blame my friend for saying that. She’s just going by the cultural standard – sit down, keep your head down, don’t ask for what you want, and shut up. If you wanna be happy, it had better be by these preset standards (lots of money, shiny cars, big house, flat screen TV, vacations in the Dominican) or nothing at all. Have a nice life!

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

Sorry. This whole idea just gets me really annoyed. You don’t have to be miserable. You don’t have to ignore your own needs and desires. You don’t have to live like that. Society just says you do. Well who the hell is society anyways?

Once I was talking to a friend about how sometimes I get really nervous about love and find it hard to trust that someone would love me. Her consolation was that, “That’s a good thing. Everyone feels like that. If you actually trusted that people could love you, then you’d be a cocky little bitch and you wouldn’t be able to like yourself.”

Bullshit.

Having low self esteem, not being able to trust that someone loves you – those are not signs of being a good person. They’re actually the fastest way to have a lot of unhealthy relationships.

But it just irritates me that somehow those things have been glorified by society, and built up into virtues. Arghh. I could go on for hours about this.

Feeling safe in being loved, following your heart, doing what you love, living life the way you want to, by your own standards and values – these are not bad things. These are not selfish, awful, horrible things that if you did, you would suddenly become Hitler or something.

You are, in fact, allowed to be happy by your own standards. Yeah. Take that society. Take that!

And would you look at that? I said all these things and the big society monster did shit on my head. I’m still here. I still love my life. I’m still happy. And I’m going to keep on doing these things because I refuse to play small. I refuse to back down. And I refuse to live a compromised life. Tried it once, made me miserable.

What would you change if you decided to live big?

Welcome to one artist's odyssey

On May 21st, I'm going on a quest. A quest for art, for meaning, for beauty, for truth. I'm picking up my life, packing up a suitcase and heading to rural France to live, paint and study art for the next 18 months.

Click here to find out how you can stowaway in my suitcase and join in the adventure!