This is actually one of the hardest things I’ve ever written. So please be gentle.

It’s amazing how much the energy and intention behind an action can really affect the results that action has.

Recently though, I forgot this, and I let my own fear and desperation put out really bad vibes around my art and my business. And I feel really bad about it.

Me = Freaking Out.

Have I ever mentioned how totally awesome I am at freaking out? I’m super awesome. I could do it for the national team. So moving out is causing some major freakouts around money. I’ve got this big tangled ugly ball of money beliefs and moving out has triggered pretty much all of them.

Last week, I started this big promotion with a raffle of one painting, a studio sale of some smaller pieces, and a 10% discount for my mailing list. (By the way,  you should really sign up for my mailing list just to see the coupon code, cus it makes me laugh. It’s really lame, but I love it.)

But instead of starting this sale from a place of joy and generosity and sharing of the love, it came from a place of fear and desperation. So guess what happened?

It went abysmally. I got more unsubscribes than things sold.

Me = Freaking Out Even More. If that’s even possible.

Friday,  I had a complete meltdown. I was totally wigging out. I wasn’t going to make any money, and I wasn’t going to clear out the debt and everything was just going to go really, really badly. And I was doomed, and screwed and I don’t even know what other fears ran through my head.

But it was bad.

Me = Realizing how I was coming at it from completely the wrong angle

After just leaving it alone for a few days, I realized this morning that the energy behind the sale was completely off. I’d started that sale with making money being the only thing I had my mind on, and the only thing I even remotely cared about. I wanted, no, needed to make money so that I wouldn’t be so scared. Even reading that sentence right now makes me cringe and hang my head. I hate letting the fear win like that. I hate letting it be my sole motivation in life.

The whole thing just felt wrong and dirty and unclear. Something had to change.

Me = Coming from a new direction

So what kind of vibe did I want my sale to have? I wanted it to feel clean and joyful and loving. I wanted it to be about sharing my work with people who can’t usually afford it. I wanted it to feel good, not bad. I wanted it to feel happy, not desperate and fearful.

I keep cringing every time I think of how much I let the fear overcome me. I’m seriously embarrassed. But I feel like it’s something I need to put out there, to stand up and say, “I let the fear control me and I don’t want to do that anymore. I choose a different path.”

I choose to share my art because it might help someone feel happier or more hopeful or just better in general.

I choose to have a sale so that it’s easier for me to share my work with others.

I choose to have a raffle because I want someone to get a chance to win a painting they normally couldn’t afford.

I choose to do this because I love my work and I love the people who love my work and sharing love is awesome.

So here it is – a studio sale and a raffle!

First up, the raffle – for $15.00, you buy a set of note cards or art cards and get one entry into the raffle for this painting:

Normally it would sell for $400, but with this raffle I get to give it to someone for $15. I love that. I think it’s so awesome that it should probably be illegal.

Raffle!

Second is the studio sale. It’s some smaller pieces of art that have been kicking around my studio for a while that just don’t fit with my major body of work. So here they are, affordable and wonderful, just for you. I hope you find something you like.

Studio Sale!

And if you’re interested in the 10% discount on my portfolio pieces, just sign up for my mailing list and you’ll get it sometime today, I promise.

Mailing List Sign Up.

This is me, sending joy and happiness to you. The way it should be. The way I like it.