Happy 301st blog post to me! That really did sneak up on me. I think there should be a party of some kind, but I’ve got a cold, so it looks like I’ll be partying in bed. I actually don’t mind though. Sometimes it’s nice to curl up in bed with cups of tea, hang out on Twitter and write a post here. Besides it’s raining outside and there’s a European cruise ship in so the streets are full of lost Germans.

I wrote yesterday about having lost my direction somewhat and I got some really great feedback. This post will probably feel like I’m flip flopping a bit, but I had some epiphanies and some clarity of vision and I know when I get giggly excited about something but also feel nervous about sharing it because who-am-I-to-dream-so-big, then I’m probably onto something.

I’ve never liked the idea of going to art school, although I’ve struggled with that choice at times. I think I’ve finally made peace with the fact that I’m never going to have an MA in fine art and that’s just fine by me.

And I don’t mind being self taught, but there does reach a certain point when outside guidance is appreciated. I think I reached that point recently, and I think  that’s contributing to my frustration with my art. There are certain techniques I want to achieve with my work and I’m not getting very far on my own. I’d like to be shown.

Originally, I was intrigued by the full time ateliers in Italy but they’re expensive, far away and intensive. Physically, my health couldn’t handle it. And some of them seem very dogmatic which isn’t really my style. I love almost all art, and I’m a bit too liberal minded to subscribe to one definitive philosophy or way of thinking.

So that was out, but I was still left with my problem – I want to create very, very, very good artwork. (I’m a typical type A – so shoot me.) To do that though, I’m going to need certain skills. A lot of improving anything is practice, and I’m good at that. But if I was a dancer, I could practice pirouetting till I was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t do me any good until someone showed me how.

I’m looking for some hows. I’m a quick study. Once you show me how to do it, I will go off and practice until I’m blue in the face.

Enter Studio Escalier.

It’s not exactly easy to get into. It’s also in France. And it’s still pretty expensive. But all of those things can be dealt with. The most important part? It’s only 3 months. And the schedule is perfect for me. Three hours of drawing the morning, a 2 hour lunch aka nap time for Sarah, and then 3 hours in the afternoon. Three hours is about what I can handle before I need to rest again. Plus it’s only 3 months, which is a much more manageable length of time than say, 8-9 months.

It also seems to be less dogmatic than other studios and focuses on learning to see clearly and working from life. Which is what I want – a place where I can spend some time, learn some new skills, and then apply it to the work that I want to make. I don’t want to spend years and years making the art that someone else demands of me. I’ve got my own vision and message. I’ve got limited time and energy and I am determined to make the most of it.

And I do already speak some (rusty) French!

It’s still pretty expensive – about $7000 CDN for the 3 months and that doesn’t include food or art supplies. But they do offer some scholarships and I intend on applying for the Elizabeth Greenshields Award to see if they’ll fund some of it – I mean, the studio is run by one of their former winners. And there are other grants available to me that I could apply to. And good old fashioned hard work too.

Mind you, this whole thing is pretty long shot. The program only accepts 12 people each time. It wouldn’t be until May 2011, so I’ve got just over 11 months to find the money I need for the program, the rent, the flight, art supplies and food. But it’s not totally impossible. And grants are highly competitive. (Can you see me talking myself out of it?)

But with some hard work, and a little bit of luck, it just might be possible. The worst that’ll happen is I’ll try, make some really great art, and fail. Not exactly the worst fate in the world.

Welcome to one artist's odyssey

On May 21st, I'm going on a quest. A quest for art, for meaning, for beauty, for truth. I'm picking up my life, packing up a suitcase and heading to rural France to live, paint and study art for the next 18 months.

Click here to find out how you can stowaway in my suitcase and join in the adventure!