Monthly Archives: June 2009

My Little Sister Graduated High School Last Night

I feel old. That’s all I gotta say about that. I also feel sentimental. I may have cried watching the ceremony. But don’t tell her that. She was totally on the honour roll too. And got a gold medal for maintaining a 4.0 all through high school. I’m so ridiculously proud of her. Isn’t she [...]

Bad Vibes

This is actually one of the hardest things I’ve ever written. So please be gentle. It’s amazing how much the energy and intention behind an action can really affect the results that action has. Recently though, I forgot this, and I let my own fear and desperation put out really bad vibes around my art [...]

Who do you make your decisions for?

The guilt monster has been back, snapping at my heels again about this nude show. I can’t seem to get the damned creature to leave me alone. No matter what choice I seem to make, I end up feeling guilty about something, or like I’ve disappointed someone. Ugh. Buggeration. Choice #1 – Throw myself in [...]

T-minus 31 days: Something's gotta give

Despite yesterday’s flippant comments about Billy Connolly curing creative burnout, my flippancy masked a deeper problem. I was absolutely killing myself with my work load. By the time 9pm rolled around last night, I was so tired, I was close to throwing up. Not good. I went to bed, and slept badly till I dragged [...]

T-minus 32 days: Burnout

Ughhh. The exhaustion is starting to catch up with me. I woke up today and just could not bare to drag my butt out of bed. But drag my butt out I did. I’m working about 15-18 hours a day – start at 6 or 7am and go till anywhere from 10pm until 11:30pm. That [...]

T-minus 33 days: Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt

The title of this post should be read to the tune of the “Spam Song” by Monty Python. Or at least that’s how it sounded in my head as I typed it. Guilt is my old friend. Guilt, worry and shame are like the deranged, evil triumvirate that rule my life. So the paintings for [...]

T-mins 37 days: The power of unvoiced fear

So I’m painting this morning, and I’m getting antsier and antsier. I’m fidgeting in my seat, getting frustrated and upset with the painting. I’m feeling anxious, worried, unsure of where I’m going next. What the heck is wrong with me? Self, I think we need to have a chat Slowly but surely, I’m learning to [...]

T-minus 38 days: Get my art on the cheap

So because I’m moving, and because I need extra money and because I don’t really want to have to move piles of art 1800 kms, there’s going to be some sale stuff going on for the next month. For the next few weeks, it’s going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity – the [...]

T-minus 40 Days: Anyone else feeling Biblical?

Forty days from today, I get in a car, and move 1800 kms to Prince Edward Island. Forty days to finish 12 paintings, 2 websites, and one tattoo drawing. It feels kind of Biblical ya know? Maybe I’ll change my name to Eve, or Mary or something. Judith perhaps. Judith was always one of my [...]

The Perfectionist's Battle

I have a confession to make – I am a perfectionist. And not just a perfectionist about certain things, but about my entire life. And unfortunately, it gets in the way of almost everything I do. Perfect doesn’t exist But that hasn’t stopped me yet. I’ve ruined paintings in search of perfect, questioned relationships in [...]