It’s not that 2008 was necessarily a bad year. More like it was a hard year. A year where I noticed that my life was not what I wanted it to be at all, and as a result, went through lots and lots of growing pains. And I mean lots.

And loudly.

With lots of tears.

And kicking and screaming and beating my fists against the tides of change. Ever tried to punch water? Doesn’t go so well. Trust me on this one. (Go to about 1:47 seconds in the video to see someone punching water. Actually, just watch the whole thing. It’s hysterical.)

And oddly enough, it’s been a similar year for a couple of my close friends as well. Lots of change. Lots of painful learning experiences. Some really dumb drama.

So I have now officially declared 2009 the Year of Non Suck.

To boot, I finally picked my word of the year, a la Christine Kane.

I wanted a word that encompassed my whole life, not just part of it. I wanted a word that would help me to change how I relate to life.

Except I didn’t want to use the word “change” because that word alone makes me break out in a cold, cold sweat. Change to me means bad things. Change to me means that all of the things that I love are going to be taken out of my life and I’m going to have to start over again, from scratch. I don’t like that kind of change, and I’m terrified that if I picked that word, my entire life would fall apart. So I wanted something I was more comfortable with.

And then this morning, while writing my morning pages, there it appeared – my word for this year.

Harmony.

Reading it made my whole body hum – it resonated with me. It just felt right. This is what I need – harmony.

I want to be in harmony with myself, for the first time in a long time. I want to heal my pains and learn to love myself, so that I can stop struggling against myself.

I want to be in harmony with the Universe, so that I can stop fighting it, and pushing away all of the good things in my life by refusing to see them.

I want to be in harmony with my relationships, so that my own pains and fears can stop screwing them up quite so royally.

I want to be in harmony with my business and my money so that everything resonates with me and I feel like I’m doing the right work and the right art.

I want to be in harmony with my body, so that I’m taking care of it and exercising it and resting it well.

I want to feel peaceful, for the first time in a long time. I want my mind to feel at peace, no longer raging against itself. I want my life to blossom and grow and feel full and wonderful. And that’s got to start with me.

So here’s to 2009 – may it be a wonderful, prosperous, harmonious year for all of you. And I’ll see you all next year!

"Windmills", © Sarah Lacy. 16"x20", Acrylic on canvas. $900.00

Welcome to one artist's odyssey

On May 21st, I'm going on a quest. A quest for art, for meaning, for beauty, for truth. I'm picking up my life, packing up a suitcase and heading to rural France to live, paint and study art for the next 18 months.

Click here to find out how you can stowaway in my suitcase and join in the adventure!